A breakthrough?

Last night was....interesting....

It was the culmination of the last couple of weeks. The agression, depression, frustration, sadness, boldness, hatred!

My husband took the day off work for the third day in a row. About a week ago I watched an HBO special called "Boy Interupted" the kids were in bed and I sat watching and bawling my eyes out.... oh the lines I could draw between their life and ours. The signs I see in my own son and the realization that I might actually have to live in that kind of a world forever.....it changed me in a way I can not verbalize.

Since my husband was off work and since we have been struggling at home for a couple of weeks and the show was on again I made him sit down and watch it with me... no interuptions...kids were in bed! We didn't talk through the whole movie...I bawled again because that is what I do... Even he had a few moments of tears!

It was profound in a way I think only those who live with bipolar can truly understand. And it sparked a conversation that needed to happen... He was able to reveal a very personal secret he had been keeping from everyone for his whole life...

I hope that by him saying it out loud that he will finally be able to break some agression. To open that door of dialogue with his social workers and psychiatrists.

I believe in hope, I believe he will work through all of this and that he will learn to live in his own skin.... I have to believe because the alternative is too hard to think about!!