Starting something good!

Today I am creating a blog because there is a serious lack of support for those People who have chosen to love a person suffering with bipolar disorder.

In this blog I will share stories, what is happening at home (good or bad), children, and I hope to provide support and understanding to those who suffer along with me.

When you are the spouse of someone suffering with Bipolar disorder you are suffering right along with them. There is no right or wrong way to act or react in my opinion. It is a constantly changing game, there are no rules, there are no sure fire solutions.

Today I come to you with my heart on my sleve and hope that you will feel comfortable sharing your experiences and providing me support as well! I look forward to hearing from you.

I will start with the short version of my life.

I met my husband when I was 16 years old. My memories of him then were that he was a big teady bear. He was a little over weight (but so was I). He was always available to sit in a corner with at parties I felt uncomfortable at. He swept me off my feet.

We dated for about a year before going off to University. We spend all evening every evening talking on the phone. A lot of "I love you" and "I miss you". At Christmas I spent the holiday with his family and we made the first bad decision of our lives together. We decided it was too hard being apart and we left school!

Oh how I wish today I could take this decision back.

We lived with his parents for a few months at which point we were looking for work...really anything to get out on our own. We found a job cleaning in a building and our salary included a two bedroom apartment. We thought this was GREAT.

Once we moved in and started working I found out about his work ethic. Or should I say Lack of work ethic... This was a large building and I found on most days I was doing the work while he was taking breaks because he was overheating, or not feeling well, or tired, or whatever other excuse he could come up with. I remember being annoyed. I remember being resentful.

This job did not last very long at all. There was no way I could hold up all on my own. So we left and made the second mistake of our lives. We rented a small house with a couple of my cousins. Anyone who has ever rented with other people knows that you have to be VERY respectful of eachother at all times.... and there was not one person in that house who could fall under that title. We all ended up fighting. I got a job at Walmart and made next to no money and Rob...again couldn't find anything. Any job he did find he worked at for a few weeks and then quit or got fired... At this point of my life I was devistated. I didn't want to be living like this and the resentment was growing... in hind sight this was the point in my life that we should have parted ways! But We didn't.

Over the following years we moved again and I continued working upgrading from Walmart to a receptionist at an insurance company. He was still in and out of work...but I made enough that if he was out of work at least we were still floating... I got pregnant!

From this point forward things get interesting. We moved up north, gave birth to our beautiful daughter, lived like "normal" for a few years and moved back south. I started working for a large telecommunications company and things looked like they might look up...

I got Pregnant again! This time we had a baby Boy! A baby boy with Colic!

I will continue this story in more detail from this point forward because this is the point where we went from not holding down a job and financial distress to downright unbearable to live with!